Food guilt: how to stop judging yourself after eating

When did eating become something we had to get right?

For something we have to do every day, we have made eating incredibly complicated. We have “good” days, “bad” days, food we have “earned”, foods we “shouldn’t” have eaten, and meals that somehow require an internal performance review afterwards.

“Did I eat too much?”

“Was that healthy enough?”

“Should I have had dessert?”

“Do I need to make up for it later?”

Somewhere along the way, eating stopped being something we simply did and became something we could succeed or fail at. And that creates an enormous amount of pressure.

The post-meal audit

Have you ever finished eating and immediately reviewed how well you did? Perhaps you felt pleased with yourself because you stopped at the “right” point. Or disappointed because you ate more than you intended. Maybe you start planning what you will-or-won’t eat later to compensate.

The meal might be over, but mentally, you’re still sitting at the table. And when every eating experience becomes something to evaluate, food can begin to feel like a test you’re taking several times a day.

What if there was nothing to grade?

Of course, being aware of what and how we eat can be useful, but awareness and judgement are very different things.

Awareness might say:

“I ate beyond comfortable fullness there.”

Judgement says:

“I have absolutely no control.”

Awareness gives us information, judgement turns that information into something about our worth.

So perhaps the next time you notice yourself conducting that familiar post-meal audit, try asking:

“Am I noticing what happened – or am I grading myself?”

You don’t need to declare it a failure. You ate, and now you get to carry on with your day.

Perhaps a more peaceful relationship with food begins when we stop trying to get every eating moment right-and start ending the fight with ourselves.

For more information please see this post

Link to my self-help guide below